


Shocks and Sore Spots

by Kavella



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-09 10:58:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4345916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kavella/pseuds/Kavella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of Fire Across the Galaxy, Kanan starts having nightmares. But after a single mistake, the crew learns that his wounds were much deeper than he had let on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is a short three chapter fic. I hope you enjoy!

Kanan shot straight up, gasping for breath. He was drenched in sweat, his loose hair sticking to the back of his neck. His body trembled, still in shock.

Kanan closed his eyes, mentally reminding himself that it was just a dream.

Ever since his rescue, he still had nightmares of his capture. Sometimes it was the Inquisitor trying to attack his mind. Other times, it was the electricity coursing through his veins.

But this time, it was of Ezra. He was falling again, knocked off by the twirl of the Inquisitor's blade. However, this time there was no bridge to catch him. Kanan shook his head, disrupting the image of his lifeless padawan.

He looked around his dark room, hoping to distract his mind from the images he had seen. It was the same as always, the majority of his items being hidden away. It was a great contrast to the younger member's rooms, which featured a lot of junk thrown around, or in Sabine's case, a lot of pain.

Kanan sighed. They had all risked his life for him, and he was grateful; but they should have left him. There was so much they could have lost, so much that could have gone wrong. And now, there were a lot more people involved. Kanan was glad for the addition of Ahsoka, the padawan of the Republic's prodigy, but he was worried about the direction they were headed in.

It was clear that the Empire needed to be eliminated, but Kanan was afraid of what came next. There was a risk that a new dictator could take its place, or that there would be too much hurt for the Galaxy to be able to rebuild.

Kanan stood, knowing that there was no chance he was going to fall back asleep. He pulled his hair up into its usual ponytail, and walked out of his room. His shirt felt light without the weight of his armor and weapons. He walked past Ezra's room, quickly checking to see if his padawan was still there. He knew his fears were irrational, but he was still worried.

He felt Ezra's presence, warm and bright, filled with hope. The kid was one of a kind.

Kanan walked into the cockpit, hoping that the stars would somehow calm his rattled nerves. He sat down in the pilot's seat, crossing his arms and gazing out into the galaxy. Quiet was a rare term on the Ghost after the addition of his loud student, and now that it finally was silent, it felt unnerving. His right leg started bouncing, and Kanan wished there was something he could do.

The doors opened, and Kanan quickly whipped around. Chopper rolled in, his storm of angry beeps directed right at him.

"Oh, Chopper, it's only you." Kanan discreetly let out the breath he was holding. It seemed like every sudden noise or movement sent him on edge.

Kanan was watching the starts, lost in his thoughts and oblivious to the events occurring around him. He heard shouting, but before he could figure out why, the ground was pulled from beneath his feet.

Suddenly, he was back in the integration room, the Inquisitor standing before him. The volts of electricity shot through his body, coursing through his nerves and burning his wrists. He screamed in pain, his voice raspy and dry.

His vision turned as black as the galaxy with no stars.

* * *

"What's going on in here?" Hera asked, her mind still groggy from being awoken. But as she saw the scene unfolding before her, her mind was jolted awake. Chopper shot dings and beeps at Kanan, getting closer to the Jedi. Kanan, however, did not appear to notice as his leg continued to bounce and his gaze continued to stare into the depths of space. Chopper tried to get his attention again, but Kanan was out of it. Frustrated with the lack of attention, Chopper pulled out his Taser.

"Chopper!"

But she was too late.

Chopper shocked the Jedi, who instantly yelped in pain. Chopper recoiled, but Kanan did not. He screamed, his body arching back in pain. Hera rushed towards him, putting her hands on his shoulders.

Hera immediately knew what was happening. She had seen him like this before, after Ezra had used the dark side of the force. He explained it as a nightmare, but with the force flowing through it.

"Kanan! Kanan! It's just a nightmare!" she shouted, but her voice was muffled by his screams. She turned to see Ezra, Zeb, and Sabine all come rushing in. Zeb and Sabine shot forward to help Hera attempt to calm the thrashing Jedi, but Ezra remained still.

"Blast it, Kanan! Wake up!" Zeb shouted, as Sabine frantically shook him. But their actions made Kanan thrash more. Hera had to do something, there had to be a way for him to wake up. She turned towards Ezra, an idea forming in her mind.

"Ezra! Can't you connect with him through the force?" Ezra still stood in his place, eyes wide like a Tauntaun in headlights. "Ezra!" She shouted, and Ezra snapped out of his daze.

"I…I don't know! He never taught me!" Ezra shouted back.

"Well, you're gonna to have to learn!"

"There's no way I could! I can barely understand things  _with_  his instruction!"

"Ezra! You're the only one who can wake him!" Hera shouted. Ezra was about to say something back, but thought better of it. He nervously sat on the ground, crossing his legs beneath him. He sat up straight, stiff but relaxed. Ezra closed his eyes.

Immediately, Kanan stopped screaming. Hera looked at the cowboy Jedi, but he was not awake. The four crew members stood in silence, watching the rare occurrence of Jedi using the force. Every once and a while, Ezra's head would twitch to the right or left, but he remained focused. Hera was stricken with pride. She had never seen Ezra so concentrated before. If he was like this during every Jedi session, there was no doubt that he would become a great Jedi. Maybe that was why Kanan was always worrying over him.

"Kid sure is takin' his time," grumbled Zeb.

"He's doing the best he can, considering the circumstances," Sabine argued. Hera remained silent, her worry filling her mind. She hoped she had made the right call when she sent Ezra into Kanan's subconscious.

Suddenly, Ezra's eyes shot open, and he gasped in surprised. He flew backwards, tumbling a few meters before the back control panel stopped him.

"Ezra?"

"Blast it," Ezra cried, trying to pick himself up. Hera rushed over to the young boy.

"What happened?" Ezra held his head in one hand and accepted Hera's in the other. She pulled him up, and after Hera realized that he could not stand on his own, she kept a firm grip on his shoulder. "Ezra? Are you alright? What happened?" she asked again.

"Kanan can pack a punch, that's what happened."


	2. Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope you like this chapter!

Ezra was afraid.

He had done Jedi mind tricks before, but he had never actually been successful. He had always been unable to focus or unable to make the connection with his master. But now, his master needed him, and Ezra was not going to leave him alone. He knew first-hand how awful feeling alone could be.

Ezra sat down on the metal floor, crossing his legs. He took a deep breath, and closed his eyes.

He could feel Kanan's presence, chilling him to the bone. Kanan was terrified. Remembering what his master would tell him, he reached out with his mind, trusting in the force. Ezra connected with his master, and suddenly he felt the world around him shift. He was no longer on the Ghost, but rather in the halls of an Imperal cruiser. Ezra looked around, stunned for a moment, before remembering what was happening. When he had connected with Kanan, he had forced himself into his mind.

As he walked through the halls of the cruiser, a familiar feeling washed over him. He had been here before.

Ezra followed his instincts, hoping they would guide him to his master. He ran down the halls of the cruiser, making lefts and rights through the prison level, wondering why there had not been anyone to stop him yet. And as the force would have it, he felt his master's presence from one of the rooms. Ezra stopped, skidding to a halt. He walked to the control panel and unlocked the door.

It slid open with a hiss, revealing a locked up Kanan, just as he was when Ezra had rescued him a few rotations ago.

He realized that Kanan was having a flashback of his capture. He faintly remembered Kanan warning him of the danger of interfering with another person's flashback, but it was too late to listen to him now. Ezra stood in the doorway, not knowing what to say. He had to wake his master from his flashback, but he had no idea how. However, Ezra knew he needed to do it quickly. Deciding on the easiest option, Ezra spoke.

"Kanan, you have to wake up! It's just a nightmare!" he shouted, rushing into the room. Kanan opened his sea foam green eyes. They landed on Ezra, but before Ezra had a chance to do anything, the world was shifted beneath his feet. His mind surged with pain, and the next thing Ezra knew, he was back on the Ghost.

"What do you mean, 'Kanan packs a punch'?" Sabine questioned. Ezra, still relying on Hera to keep him from collapsing, answered the explosive artist.

"I connected with him through the force, and I saw his flashback. He was back in the Empire's cell, reliving… well, everything. But when he saw me there, his mind punched me back into consciousness!" Ezra said, rubbing his head.

"Are you alright? You can barely stand," Hera said, looking at Ezra. He wiggled out of her grasp, trying to prove himself. He stood upright, still tilting slightly.

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not, kid," Zeb responded.

"It doesn't matter. I have to go back in there," Ezra protested, sitting down cross legged on the metal floor.

"Ezra, are you sure about this?" Hera asked. She was worried about this before, but now even more so. Hera did not understand the force, but she knew it was delicate. And since the most experienced force user was unconscious and his student was attempting to do something that he had never successfully done before, Hera could not help but worry.

Ezra looked up, his blue eyes reflecting the stars.

"No." He turned to face his master, and he closed his eyes. Again, the crew was left in a stew of uncertainty.

Ezra awoke again on the shuttle Kanan was captured on, but this time he was not in his cell. He stood, watching Kanan and the Inquisitor fighting, their blue and red blades clashing. This is what Kanan was afraid of? It did not seem right to Ezra; Kanan had beaten the Inquisitor after he had rescued him.

Suddenly, Kanan was thrown back, and the Inquisitor turned to face him. He looked down to see Kanan's lightsaber in his hand, realizing what was about to happen.

Ezra gulped as the red twirling lightsaber came hurdling toward him.

"Kanan, it's just a dream! You need to wake up!" And then the pain surged through his face, the lightsaber having hit him on the cheek. Ezra recoiled, stumbling off of the platform. He was falling, just as he had before. He would land on a parallel bridge, hitting his head.

But after moments passed, there was no sign of stopping. Ezra continued to fall away from the red and blue blades that clashed. Ezra's body twisted around, his limbs flailing, the wind rushing at his face, whipping his hair. He looked towards the ground, and his suspicions were correct. There was no bridge.

Kanan wasn't having a flashback anymore.

He was having a nightmare.

Everything happened at once.

Kanan gasped, and Zeb and Sabine quickly grabbed onto his limps, hoping that they would not be wacked again. At the same time, Ezra was thrown back against the back control panel, just as he was before. Hera, assuming Kanan needed comforting more, raced over to him. He looked around wildly, eyes darting every which way.

"Kanan!" Hera shouted, laying her hands on his chest. "Kanan, listen to me. You're on the Ghost. You're safe here."

Kanan shook his head. "Ezra, he…" His voice trailed out as he glanced behind Hera's shoulder. Following his gaze, she realized that Ezra was still lying on the ground, unmoving.

"Zeb…" Hera said, but Zeb was already moving towards the heap of limbs. He reached down, gently taking Ezra by the shoulders and turning him so he was lying on his back. His eyes were closed, his face pale.

Zeb gently placed two of his four claws on Ezra's neck, making sure that his sharp nails did not scratch the child.

"Is he…" Sabine asked, not needing to say the last word.

"No, but he isn't far from it," Zeb responded, looking up at the crew.

"He shouldn't have done that." Hera turned toward Kanan as he slipped into unconsciousness, leaving three baffled crew members and a terrified droid.

"Arrg! This is all your fault, Chopper!" Zeb yelled, striding forward in an attempt to hit the droid.

"Zeb, stop! It's not his fault. Chopper didn't know!"

"Come on, Hera. You're standing up for him?"

"Zeb, we don't have time for this. Right now we need to help Kanan and Ezra," Hera said.

"And how are we supposed to do that? We don't know anything 'bout the force!"

"We'll just have to try to, and hope that they're okay."


	3. New Beginning

Kanan sat, his elbows resting on his knees, watching and waiting. His padawan lied in his bed, his breathing steady and his eyes closed. Kanan had thought he heard Ezra moan, but it may just have been his mind playing tricks on him. Two rotations without sleep could do that to someone.

When Kanan had woken, Hera had told him what had happened. At first, he was furious at the kid. Ezra had known the risks of entering someone else's mind. Kanan explained it to him every time before meditation. Minds are delicate things, and if you mess with them too much, you could get hurt.

Those were his exact words to the boy, and yet he had ignored him.

After a while, he had cooled down. Kanan would have done the same thing for him. Bu as he sat before his unconscious padawan, he began to recall what had happened.

Kanan dreamt that there was no bridge to catch the kid when he fell. It was one of his worst nightmares, losing his padawan, having to feel a bond break again. It had almost killed him the first time, and he had no idea what he would do if it happened again.

All this had happened because he had been unable to get over his fears. It was somehow different this time. Kanan rubbed his eyes, leaning back into his chair. He heard the door open, but made no move to look at who was entering. He already knew.

"Hera, I'm not going to lie down. I can't sleep anyway."

"I know, Kanan," Hera said, pulling up another chair next to his. "I didn't come here to lecture you. I came to listen." Kanan gave Hera a confusing glare before turning back to his padawan. Ezra's eyes were still shut, his chest rising and falling at a steady pace. Kanan sighed.

"What do you want to know?" Hera looked at him, gathering her thoughts.

"I want to know why this happened, and why you don't want to talk about it." Kanan grimaced. Of course Hera would know exactly what to ask. He took a deep breath, and spoke.

"I….I've been having flashbacks." Kanan twisted his hands together in his lap, feeling uncomfortable talking about his emotions. He was closed off for so long, he forgot what it was like. When Hera did not speak up, Kanan continued. "Every time I closed my eyes, I'm in the interrogation room, strapped down and…dying. But lately… they've been changing. Things that didn't happen are happening. They're becoming…nightmares. And Ezra came crashing right into one."

"Is that why you forced him out?" Hera asked, and Kanan nodded.

"If someone enters another person's mind, whatever happens can hurt them physically." Kanan paused, the hum of the ship filling the empty air.

"So how did Ezra get hurt?" Hera questioned.

"I dreamt… that there was no bridge there to catch him…." Kanan looked away, his blurred vision staring at the floor. He felt Hera's hand on his shoulder, comforting him. He appreciated the gesture, but he wished he did not need it. He had to look after the crew, not the other way around. He had to stay strong, for their sake. It was not easy fighting the Empire, and it defiantly took its toll. It was his job to protect them.

"Kanan, I know what you're thinking," Hera said, rubbing her hand along his sore back muscles. "This isn't your fault. Don't blame yourself."

"No, Hera. It is. If I was able to get over it sooner, then-" Hera cut him off as she spun him around in his seat. She looked him straight in his eyes and spoke.

"Kanan Jarrus, don't you ever blame yourself for something you can't control." Kanan looked at Hera, surprised by her outburst.

"Hera, I-"

"Kanan, I'm serious. You sacrificed yourself to save us, and you were in the Empire's hands. I cannot begin to imagine what they did to you." Kanan looked away, but Hera touched his cheek and guided his sight back to her. "I want to help you, but I can't do that if you don't let me in."

Kanan looked into Hera's eyes, and his emotions busted open like a dam. Kanan did nothing to stop the tears from streaming down his face. Hera held him closer, running her hands through his hair, whispering comforting words.

He told Hera everything that had happened. All the pain he went through, all the torture, everything. Hera listened intently, giving Kanan the support to go on.

When he had finished, his throat was burning but his tears had dried. Kanan felt better, having the weight of his pain off of his chest. Not completely better, but it was a start. He rubbed his eyes, drying away the remaining tears on his face. Hera handed him a piece of cloth, which he accepted.

"Thank you," Hera said.

"Thank you? What for?' Kanan asked, setting the cloth aside.

"For opening up to me." Hera smiled at him, and Kanan could not help but give a small smile back. She glanced at Ezra, who still lied in the same position. "How badly do you think he's hurt?" she asked, her voice soft.

"I..I don't know. It all depends on if I was able to wake up before he…." The word hung in the air, both knowing what it as but neither wanting to say it. Kanan began twisting his fingers in his hand again. "After he fell, I forced myself to wake up. But by then, I didn't know how far he had fallen."

Hera nodded, resting her hand on Kanan's shoulder. "Well, there are no physical injuries. That's a good sign, right?" she said, her voice full of optimism.

"There are no injuries as far as we can tell. If Ezra wakes up, he'll be able to tell is something hurts."

"When Ezra wakes up," Hera corrected. Kanan looked up at her, staring into her green eyes. He was still amazed at how much hope that she held in them, even when it seemed like there was none left. Hera leaned closer to Kanan, her aroma of oil filling his senses.

"Ugh…" Kanan and Hera froze, their gaze whipping to the teenager. "Get a room."

"Ezra!" Hera exclaimed, choosing to ignore the remark. "How are you feeling?" Ezra's blue eyes darted over to Kanan.

"Like I got punched in the gut. Twice." Kanan winced slightly, but covered it up.

"Yeah, sorry about that kid. But while we're on the topic, you shouldn't have entered my subconscious. Minds-"

"Are delicate things, and if you mess with others too much, you could get hurt. Yeah, Kanan, I know." Ezra's eyes moved towards the ground. "But…everyone was panicking, and I…I didn't know what else to do."

Kanan nodded, not needing the force to see that Ezra was afraid. And for him, it was an emotion he did not see often. 'I'm not afraid' was one of his padawan's favorite phrases.

"I'm sorry. I…" Kanan looked to Hera, who nodded in encouragement. "I was beating myself up for the…fear that I can't control. I never expected this to happen."

"It's okay," Ezra said, brushing off the emotions. "So…how long have I been out?"

"About three days," Hera answered. Ezra's eyes widened. "It's okay, Ezra. Your mind needed time to adjust," Hera stole a quick glance to Kanan, who nodded. "Now, I'm sure you must be starving. I'll go get you something to eat." Ezra nodded, the fear in his eyes washing away. He would never deny food.

When the door closed behind her swinging leku, Kanan turned back to Ezra.

"How are you feeling – really?" Ezra smiled.

"Never better."

"Stand up for me." When Ezra opened his mouth to protest, Kanan cut him off. "I just want to be sure." Sighing, the teen agreed. He threw the blanket off and his legs swung over the side of the bunk. Kanan noticed the hesitation that flickered through their bond. "Ezra?" he asked.

Sucking in a deep breath, Ezra pushed his body up. He stood with his back straight, but Kanan still looked at him with concern. Trying to prove his master wrong, Ezra took a step forward. He quickly found that Kanan's concern was well-founded.

His knees buckled, sending the floor hurdling towards him. Two large arms engulfed him before he collided with the metal floor.

"I've got you," Kanan said, easing Ezra back to the bed. And Kanan meant what he said.

He would always be there when Ezra needed him, and the kid had proven that he would do the same. Their bond was strong, which made them strong. Kanan's nightmares occurred less and less. Ezra grew back his strength, and was back to driving his master up the walls in no time.

The events that happened by accident turned a sore spot into a new beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fin.  
> I hope you liked this story!

**Author's Note:**

> ~ Kavella ~


End file.
